


Christmas Invitation

by Jld71



Series: Christmas Invitation [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Jensen & Jared are the same age, M/M, Mention of Homophobia - not by J2, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 07:16:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16656655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jld71/pseuds/Jld71
Summary: It’s the Christmas break for Jared and Jensen. Jared is torn between his feeling for Jensen and maintaining their friendship and his status of roommate. Can time alone, in a cabin in the snowy woods help Jared figure things out?





	Christmas Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the J2_Reverse Bang Challenge  
> Author: jdl71/jld71  
> Artist: wondering_why_i  
> Beta: cillab42

 

 

Christmas Invitation

 

Jared:

 

Jared sighed as he looked around the cabin he was staying at. He was pretty lucky to have been able to talk the rental agency in to allowing him to rent the place out for the holiday. Usually, the owner didn’t want anyone here over Christmas; she didn’t want to have to deal with a tenant while she and her family celebrated the holiday. But, he had been able to give his dimpled smile and then turned on the puppy dog eyes and things had worked out in his favor. The rental agent had pled his case and now, here he was renting the cabin.

 

His family had decided to take a destination vacation for Christmas, one Jared wasn’t really interest in going on. He had begged off from the sun, the sand and the ocean in favor of a wintery wonderland. He had managed to convince his parents to pay for the cabin instead of his ticket to Cabo. They hadn’t been happy, but had agreed. His parents knew he had a stubborn streak and once he had his mind set on something, there was no changing it. Now, he was here, alone. What the hell had he been thinking? Well he knew exactly what he had been thinking, he didn’t want to see his parents and siblings, didn’t want them to see how unhappy he was. They were married or in serious relationships and he was . . . Well, he just was. He hadn’t dated anyone in months and he didn’t want to have to answer those awkward questions.

 

“Jared, who are you seeing?”

 

“Why aren’t you dating?”

 

“I thought you and Evan were happy? What happened?”

 

Or the best question, the one that made him cringe was, “He was such a nice young man, Jared. What did you do now to drive this one away?”

 

He knew they meant well. They loved him and only wanted the best for him. They wanted to see him happy and in a relationship like they were. His mother would be over the moon if he came home and told her that he had found  _ The One _ . What did that even mean? Okay, he knew what that meant, he just didn’t want to dwell on it. Because,  _ The One _ was someone he could never hope to have. They were friends and that’s all they would ever be.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Evan, his last boyfriend, he did. He just didn’t  _ like, like _ him. He didn’t know how to tell his family that he and Evan had actually broken up a couple of months ago. It was just easier telling them that everything was fine. Whenever he spoke to his mom, when she asked how Even was, how things were going, he always had a ready answer, things were fine, Evan was fine, he was fine. Well, things weren’t fine and he was far from being fine. 

 

He picked up his phone and pulled up one picture in particular. His favorite picture, if he was being honest with himself. He smiled at it and ran his forefinger over it, as if by touching it he hoped it would result in more than just a snapshot in time. 

 

The ringing of his phone brought him out of his memories. He looked down at the name and cursed when he saw who it was, Chad. “Fuck,” he said as he tapped the phone to his forehead. He thought about not answering it, but Chad would only keep calling until he answered. And until then, Chad would leave him numerous inappropriate messages and even worse texts.

 

“Chad,” he said in a tired voice.

 

“Jay bird, what the hell? You missed out on an opportunity to spend Christmas in Cabo? What, you don’t want to have the gay sex in another country, with men you’ll never have to see again?”

 

Jared could hear the mocking tone in Chad’s voice and could envision Chad waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner as he spoke. He gave a heavy sigh. “Chad, it’s not about sex and why are you even worried about my sex life? That’s just . . . unsettling.” He ran his free hand through his hair, waiting to hear what Chad’s comeback would be.

 

“Jay, come on, ever since you ended things with Evan, you haven’t been yourself. Now, you’re in a self-imposed exile at Christmas no less. What gives?”

 

“Nothing. I just needed time to myself. I didn’t want to have to come up with an excuse as to why I ended things with Evan. My family means well . . .” Chad cut him off before he could say more.

 

“Why did you? You never told me why.” Chad questioned, letting the concern he had for his oldest friend filter through his voice. He didn’t miss the sigh or the hitch in Jared’s breathing before he finally answered.

 

“We just didn’t click,” he said matter-of-factly. It was the truth, they hadn’t click. It just wasn’t the entire truth. There was a reason why they hadn’t clicked, more to the point, there was someone in Jared’s thoughts preventing him from pursuing more than just a few months of dating anyone in the past three years. 

 

“Okay, not gonna push. Changing the subject now. You know, I saw Jensen before I left for my parents. He was surprised that you didn’t go with your family and that you just left without saying a word to him. I think his feelings were kinda hurt. Did you two have a fight?”

 

“No. I just never got around to telling him. Then when it was time for me to leave, he was at work.” Jared shrugged, not that Chad could see him. 

 

“He played it off like it didn’t bother him, but I think it did. He seemed sad.”

 

Jared felt a stab to his heart. Jensen. He and Jensen were roommates, had been since Jared had answered an ad for a roommate halfway through his freshman year. Dorm life and rooming with Chad hadn’t been a great match for him. He had known Chad since elementary school and they were like brothers. They had shared everything with each other. Chad had been the first one he had come out to after he had finally admitted to himself that dating girls wasn’t what he was in to. Chad had just made some offhanded comment that it was about time that Jared figured out he was into dick. “Just don’t expect it to be mine, because I’m all about the ladies,” Chad had said. And, that had been that. Nothing in their friendship had changed, except that Chad had stopped introducing Jared to his flavor of the month’s best friend, second cousin or whoever they were. 

 

When he met Jensen nearly three years ago, they had just clicked. They had become roommates and then best friends and they were always together. When Jared had met Jensen, the first thing he had done was to tell Jensen up front that he was gay. He hadn’t wanted any grief over Jensen finding out. To his amazement, Jensen smiled and told him he was fine with it. “Yeah, I’m fine with my roommate being gay,” Jensen had said with a smile. “My last roommate moved out because I’m gay. He didn’t want to associate with my kind. His words, not mine.” Jared heard the bitterness in Jensen’s voice and saw the pinched look on his face. “He tried to save my soul. Prayed for me and everything,” Jensen said as he had tipped his head back and laughed and Jared couldn’t stop himself from joining in.

 

He forced his mind back to the present so he could deal with Chad. “Yeah . . . I didn’t think he’d notice. He’s been really busy with classes and work . . .” Jared let his words taper off. He really didn’t have a good enough excuse as to why he had slunk off without even wishing Jensen a Merry Christmas. 

 

“So what, you just didn’t bother to say anything to him? You know, he’s got nowhere to go for the holidays. He’s staying in the apartment.” Chad said hoping his words would penetrate Jared’s apparently thick skull.

 

He hadn’t known that. He just figured that Jensen would be spending Christmas with Chris and his family. Jared knew that Jensen’s family had turned their backs on him when he’d come out to them. That was something Jared had been grateful for that hadn’t happened to him. His family had just taken it in stride. So much so that his mother had actually tried to set him up on a few dates. They had all ended in disaster. He finally had to ask his mother to stay out of that aspect of his life. Jensen hadn’t been so lucky. He had been kicked out of his home after he had graduated high school. He was doing everything on his own; paying for college and his own apartment. His best friend Chris and his family had unofficially adopted him so he did have someone who cared for him. “I thought he was going home. Well, to Chris’.” He winced at his callousness. He hadn’t even bothered to ask Jensen his plans. He sat down on the couch and eyed his duffle bag, the one with Jensen’s gift in it. He had no idea why he hadn’t given to Jensen or at least left it for him. He had wondered about that as he made the drive to the cabin and was still wondering why now as he spoke to Chad. He knew the present was perfect for Jensen, a silver chain with a guitar pick charm dangling from it. He just wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for him to give it to Jensen. Some of the best memories he had of Jensen were when they were at the apartment, him drawing with Jensen playing his guitar. Just hanging out, no expectations. He smiled sadly at the memories before turning his attention back to Chad.

 

“Chris is spending Christmas with his girlfriend and her family. Jensen didn’t want to be a burden to the Kanes.”

 

“Oh, I should have talked to him. I had no idea,” Jared whispered, more to himself then Chad.

 

“Yeah, well, it was a dick move.” He could hear the scolding tone in Chad’s voice. 

 

“I gotta go. I gotta make this right,” Jared admitted.

 

“Ya think?” Chad questioned. “Look, do what you gotta do. I just think that you need to admit a few things to yourself.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jared swallowed several times. He was too afraid to ask anything more.

 

“Jay, you gotta admit your feelings for Jensen. And, don’t try to deny it. I’m self-absorbed on a good day and even I can see you’ve got it bad for the guy. And if the way he was acting when I saw him is any indication, he’s got it bad for you. You just gotta pull your head outta your ass.”

 

“Well, oh sage one, if Jensen’s got a thing for me, why hasn’t he said anything?” Jared bit out.

 

“Because idiot, you were with Evan and then you weren’t. You started pulling away from everyone and throwing yourself into your classes. Which are totally overrated,” Chad offered with a chuckle. “But seriously dude, if you don’t want to lose him as a friend at least, you gotta figure things out and fix it.”

 

“Okay,” Jared said.

 

“And Jay, Merry Christmas.”

 

“Yeah, Merry Christmas, Chad.” He ended the call and looked at his phone. He needed to make a decision and fast. Did he dare admit his feeling for Jensen and take a chance or keep quiet? He pulled up his favorite picture again, the one of him and Jensen, arms around each other’s shoulders, smiling and looking into the camera. They had been at a party and Jared had asked one of their friends to take the picture. He had kept it ever since. He pulled it up whenever he was having a bad day. He would look at it and imagine that Jensen’s arm around him meant more. That Jensen wanted more from him than just a friendship or just having him as a roommate. While it tugged at his heart to have Jensen so close, it hurt to still be so far from him, he was happy to have Jensen as a friend and too scared to lose that. Now, it seemed like he had fucked things up. He had turn tail and run. He hadn’t even had the balls to tell Jensen he was leaving for the holiday break. He hadn’t asked Jensen what his plans were. He hadn’t even bothered to wish Jensen a Merry Christmas. He was such a sorry excuse for a friend, let alone a roommate. Who does shit like that?

 

He knew the answer, he did. And he knew why. He was afraid to hear Jensen tell him that he had plans, even if it was with Chris. It tore him up inside to think of Jensen with Chris, even though he knew they were just friends. It was time to be honest with himself. It was time to man up and take a chance. He punched in Jensen’s number and waited while the phone rang. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or upset that his call went to voicemail. He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding as he heard Jensen’s message.

 

“This is Jensen, you know what to do.” He could listen to the whisky smooth voice all day. 

 

“Jensen, it’s Jared. Uh, could you call me? Merry Christmas. Yeah, call me, okay?” He ended the call before he began to babble. He knew the message he had just left wasn’t one of his most stellar attempts at speech. With a sigh, he tossed his phone down onto the couch next to him and brought his hands up to his face. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to figure out what to do. When he pulled his hands away, he looked down at his phone before picking it up. He pulled up his camera roll and flipped through the pictures until he came to the right one. It was the one he had first taken when he had arrived at the cabin. He had unpacked, but still felt restless; pacing the living room floor. He needed to stretch his legs, he needed to work off some of his pent-up energy and hopefully quiet his mind. The walk had helped him with the first two, but his mind had still been churning. It wasn’t until he saw the picturesque beauty of the trees set against the winter white unblemished snow and the little bridge that his mind stopped thinking, if only briefly. He had grabbed his phone and taken the picture. He had needed to take a picture to remember how calm he felt in that moment before his brain screamed out to him that he should be sharing this with Jensen. He looked at the picture again, felt the calmness settle over him. He knew what he had to do. He sent the picture off to Jensen with a simple message.

 

Spend Christmas with me. J. - along with directions to the cabin. 

 

All he could do as he put his phone down on the coffee table was hope for the best. 

 

Jensen:

 

It had been a long day at the coffee shop that Jensen worked at. People were coming in non stop, ordering their coffee as well as buying the prepackaged Christmas baskets the shop was selling. To his surprise, the owner and manager Felicia had let him run with the idea of creating the baskets. He had come up with it one day during one of his business classes. The project had been to create a way for a business to draw in more revenue from the clients or patrons they already catered to. He had put together his presentation and his professor had been impressed with it when he had given his presentation to the class. To his amazement, he had not only aced the presentation, but had decided to take a chance and pitched it to Felicia with the hope that she would at least listen to him. Not only had she listened, she offered to partner with him on this little endeavor. 

 

Right before the week of Thanksgiving, he had started putting together gift baskets consisting of coffee, mugs, trivets and anything else he thought would add to the basket. He even had to fill some specialty orders. It just proved his thought that coffee was the nectar of the Gods and people would do anything for it.

 

More often than not, he had come home tired but happy after a day of classes and work. He wanted to share his happiness with Jared, but he had held off on telling Jared about this little business in case it had been a failure. He had found himself wanting to share more and more with Jared. But, he knew Jared was off limits; first and foremost Jared was his roommate and he couldn’t screw that up. Besides, Jared had been dating Evan and he didn’t want to ruin the friendship he had with Jared. Then, unexpectedly, Jared had announced that he had broken up with Evan and had thrown himself into his classwork. 

 

“Earth to Jensen!” He looked up to see Chad staring at him. “Where were you? You were just zoned out. I could have robbed you blind.” Chad snorted at his own joke.

 

“Sorry. Just lost in thought I guess. It’s been a long day.” He gave Chad a sheepish smile. “You’re my last customer before I close up.”

 

Jensen had been working the late shift at  _ Coffee Roma _ when Chad had come in. The other barista had gone home sick, leaving him alone to manage the shop. It wasn’t the first time this had happened to him and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. He knew Chad was there for his caffeine fix before he took off for the Christmas break to spend time with his family. Chad would be his last customer before he closed the shop, cleaned up and left for his apartment.

 

“Hey, Jensen. Can I get a large Americano to go?” 

 

“Yeah, sure. You heading out for the break?” 

 

“I am. Gonna head out in an hour. How about you?” Chad inquired.

 

Jensen went quiet and turned away from Chad to pour his coffee. “No, Chris won’t be there, and I don’t want to put his parents out. I’m just gonna stay here. I offered to pick up any shifts that Felicia needs me to so the others can spend time with their families if they want to. Someone is always asking for time off at the last minute, this way she doesn’t have to worry about trying to find a fill-in. I’m just gonna wish Jared a Merry Christmas before he leaves and then probably sleep,” he said with a chuckle. He turned back to see the look of sadness on Chad’s face. He figured it was directed at him since he didn’t have an actual family to go home to. “What,” he asked with a shrug. “It’s not so bad,” he offered with a fake smile.

 

“No, it’s just that Jared left this morning, right after class. He didn’t tell you?” Chad gave him a tight smile. “He rented a cabin, didn’t want to go to Cabo with the fam. I mean who passes on Cabo?”

 

Jensen felt a pang of sadness at hearing that. Jared hadn’t bother to say anything to him, not about passing on Cabo or leaving. Then again why would he? Jared was only to supposed to be his closest friend, aside from Chris. Well, he had to admit that Jared had been pulling away from him lately. He had just chalked it up to the break up with Evan and a heavy class load. Jared hadn’t wanted to talk about it and he didn’t want to push it with Jared. He was already in love with his roommate, as cliché as it was. So, he gave Jared the space he needed. If he couldn’t have Jared for himself, he at least didn’t want to lose Jared as a friend. He sighed and gave another shrug. “It’s cool. Well, here you go,” he said as he handed Chad his coffee. “Can I get you anything else?” 

 

“Yeah, you got any more of the gift baskets? I probably should give my Mom and Dad something for Christmas.”

 

“You think? They put up with you, so you should probably give them several gift baskets. But yeah, we’ve got a couple left,” Jensen joked with Chad, trying to lighten the mood. “Take your pick,” he said as he motioned to a display near the back of the shop. He waited for Chad to pick out what he wanted before he could close up for the night. Once Chad had picked out three baskets and paid for everything, he walked Chad to the door so he could lock up.

 

He held the door open for Chad as he tried to get out holding the baskets and his coffee. “Merry Christmas, Jensen.” Chad called to him over his shoulder as he set the baskets on the roof of his car. “You too, Chad,” he called back as he closed and locked the door before flipping off the main lights. He forced himself not to dwell on the fact that Jared had left without saying anything to him. He didn’t want to admit that it hurt that Chad knew what Jared was up to, but not him. He sighed, he’d just give Jared his present when he got back after the break. It wasn’t anything special, just a leather-bound sketch book. He had seen it in a little shop off campus and thought it would be perfect for Jared since he was always doodling his art on napkins or whatever he could find. While he was concentrating on a business degree, Jared was majoring in architecture and always drawing designs. He just figured this would give Jared an outlet for his art and a place to keep it in. He cleaned the tables, locked up the register drawer in the safe and made sure that all the machines were off before he set the alarm, locked the back door and got in his car to drive back to his now empty apartment.

 

He had to force himself out of his car. He really dreaded the idea of walking into his apartment. Jared wasn’t there, and he knew it wouldn’t feel as warm and inviting now that Jared was gone. With a soft sigh, he pushed open the door, flipped on the light and then closed the door, making sure it was locked. He shrugged off his coat and tossed it over one of the kitchen chairs before slumping down onto the couch. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He raised his hands to his head and covered his eyes with them. Why had Jared just taken off for the break without at least saying goodbye? Had he done something to piss Jared off? Had Jared . . . Had Jared figured out that he had feelings for him and left so he didn’t have to deal with it? He knew Jared didn’t feel the same way about him the way he did about Jared. They were just friends. Or at least he thought they were. Now, he just didn’t know. He would just have to see how Jared acted around him when Jared returned from the Christmas break. 

 

He dropped his hands from his head and tried to slow his breathing down. Maybe he was getting himself worked up over nothing. Maybe Jared just needed time alone. But, Jared was so close with his family. So, for Jared not to be with them was odd. His mind was a whirl of thoughts and his emotions were all over the place. Sleep, he thought to himself, he needed sleep. It had been a long day. He had classes for most of the morning and into the afternoon and then he had worked at the shop until close. He was tired and now upset. He kicked off his sneakers and stood up to stretch his tired and aching muscles. He walked over to his jacket to retrieve his phone. He looked down at it and saw that he had a voicemail and a text. He was too tired and bleary eyed to even see who they were from. It was after ten; whoever it was, he’d call them back tomorrow. “It’s probably Chris anyway,” he said to himself. He knew Chris had been upset with him when he had told Chris that he was just going to stay at the apartment. 

 

“Come on man, you can still come home. Even though I’m going to be at Emily’s, you know Mom and Dad would still love to have you,” Chris had practically growled at him over the phone.

 

“I know, it’s just that it’ll be strange without you there. I don’t want to put your Mom out. She can just relax this year.” He waited to hear more of an argument from Chris, but Chris had just gone quiet.

 

Chris’ drawl cut through the line, “You know we love you, right? You’re family,” Chris offered.

 

“Yeah I know,” Jensen responded quietly. “It’s just that the holidays are hard . . .” He let his thoughts trail back to the unspoken; that he no longer had a family of his own. He had hoped it would stop hurting after nearly four years of not hearing from his family, but the hurt never went away. He still hoped, he still sent cards and presents for the holidays and on their birthdays and his parent’s anniversary. But he never heard from them or received anything for his birthday or Christmas. It still weighed heavily on his heart; to feel abandoned by his family. He had already sent out his gifts to the Kanes, so that was one less thing to worry about.

 

“Screw them, Jensen. You’re better than them, they don’t deserve you. Not after the way they treated you,” Chris spat out. His voice was rough with anger. “Sorry, man,” he said in a softer voice, knowing he had overstepped on an already painful subject for his friend.

 

“It’s okay. I know you care,” Jensen offered as a way to cut through the tension.

 

“Is it about Jared? Your choice to stay there rather than coming home?” Chris asked.

 

“What?!” Jensen responded in disbelief.

 

“Come on, you’re in love with him. I can hear it in your voice and see it in your face when you talk about him.” Chris coughed out a laugh. He knew he had caught Jensen off guard with his observation. “Are you staying because of him? It’s okay if you are.”

 

“Maybe? Just a little.” Jensen was shocked with himself. He had never dared to say anything out loud about the way he felt for Jared. Now, Chris was calling him out on it. If Chris knew . . . He groaned inwardly to himself. He was so screwed. “Do you think Jared knows? I mean, I’ve never said anything.” He heard Chris laughing.

 

“You two are so clueless.” Chris chortled at him.

 

“What do you mean?” Maybe he should feel offended, but he was more curious than anything else.

 

Chris snickered at Jensen before answering him. “He looks at you the way you look at him. When you’re together, it’s like you both need to be touching or at least extremely close. When you’re not, his eyes are always on you, just the way you are with him.”

 

“But, he was dating Evan and then they broke up.”

 

“Yeah, and you haven’t dated anyone since Jared moved in. Don’t you think it’s time to make a move?”

 

“No!” Jensen yelled into the phone and then winced at his reaction. “No, I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

 

“You’re hopeless,” Chris shot back at him. “Look, I gotta go. Just think about it, about taking a chance. You deserve to be happy. Merry Christmas, I love you man.”

 

“Yeah, I love you, too. Merry Christmas,” Jensen had replied before ending the call.  

 

He sighed as he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and pushing the memory of that conversation to the back of his mind. He plugged his phone into the charger he kept on the kitchen counter before stumbling into his room to get some sleep. Whatever came his way, he’d deal with it after a few hours of sleep and a healthy dose of denial. Because, he would just have to deny his feelings for Jared. He would just have to remind himself that Jared was only his friend and maybe all Jared really wanted was to just be his roommate and nothing more. And after they graduated, there was no guarantee that Jared would want to remain living here as his roommate. He would have to face the reality of Jared moving on. It was inevitable, people moved on from each other and the way Jared had been acting toward him spoke volumes. Jared was distancing himself from their friendship. He would just have to respect that and do his best not to let Jared see his heartbreak. He could do that, he would have to. But, right now, he needed to not think about things, he needed sleep.  

 

Jensen made his way to the kitchen. He had given up sleeping and had finally dragged himself out of bed in favor of coffee and possibly getting some reading done for the next semester. He had a particularly brutal class coming up, and it was one that was required in order for him to graduate. His phone beeped from where he had left it last night and he reached to retrieve it. He punched in his code and was met with the two messages from last night; both from Jared. He staggered backward and collided with the kitchen counter. Jared. Was this good or bad, he wondered. He took a deep breath and listened to Jared’s deep, soothing voice fill the empty kitchen as he played the voicemail.  _ “Jensen, it’s Jared. Uh, could you call me? Merry Christmas. Yeah, call me, okay?” _ He listened to the message again. Jared didn’t sound angry. He sounded . . . He sounded almost sad and anxious. 

 

He didn’t know what to make of the message. Maybe the text would be more enlightening. He nearly choked on the sip of coffee he had taken when he saw the picture and read the message. Did this mean what he thought it meant? Could there even be a sliver of hope that Jared actually felt the same way? He looked at the clock. It was nearly five in the morning; to early to call Jared. He downed the coffee without a thought to the burn of the hot liquid as it hit the back of his throat. Jensen shot off a text to Felicia telling her that he would be unavailable after all before returning his phone to his jacket. He placed the cup on the counter and returned to his room. In a matter of minutes, he had a bag packed with Jared’s present nestled safely between a few shirts. He took a quick shower, shaved and was dressed and making his way to his car before he could second guess himself. He pulled out his phone and pulled up the directions Jared had sent. The cabin was about four hours away. If he didn’t hit any traffic, or make any stops, he’d be at the cabin by ten, eleven at the latest if he did have any issues. He backed out of his parking space, turned on the radio and began the drive, hoping he was making the right decision. 

 

Jared:

 

Jared had eyed the clock most of the night along with his phone, willing the damn thing to ring. He really needed to hear Jensen’s voice or at least receive a text from him. When it hit one in the morning and he hadn’t heard from Jensen, he had finally given up and retreated to his bed to try and get a few hours of sleep. Two hours later, several different sleeping positions - none of them seemed comfortable enough to help him fall asleep - and the contemplation of offering a sacrifice to the God of sleep, he threw back the covers and made his way to the cabin’s main living area. He tossed himself down on the couch, picked up the remote and turned on the TV. He clicked through infomercials, and the sports and weather channels until he settled on some old black and white movie. He watched the movie, not really paying attention to what was happening on the screen, as he let the sound of the movie lull him to sleep. 

 

Jared woke to another movie playing on the TV. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the time. When he could finally focus his eyes, he saw the time was nearly nine in the morning. He grabbed his phone and looked at it, hoping there was a message from Jensen. His heart slammed in his chest when he saw there was a message, only to nearly stop beating when he saw that it was from his mother. He sighed heavily as he dropped the phone onto the table, stood up and walked into the kitchen area to grab something to drink. This was hopeless. He was hopeless, he thought to himself. He had screwed things up with Jensen. He knew that. He had pulled away from him over the past couple of weeks. He tried telling himself that it was because he was too busy with school and nursing a broken heart. That was bullshit. His classes didn’t require him to focus twenty-four, seven. And, as far as the broken heart, he would have actually had to be invested in what he had with Evan. No, the broken heart was from not having Jensen the way he had longed for. 

 

He downed the glass of orange juice he had grabbed from the refrigerator and rinsed out the glass before heading back to the bedroom. Maybe a shower would help him, he hoped it would clear his mind and possibly help him figure out what to do. Twenty minutes later, he was showered, shaved and dressed. He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet as he contemplated his next move. His parents were going to kill him when they found out that he had only stayed at the cabin for less than forty-eight hours; the cabin he had talked them into paying for. He’d deal with their anger later. Right now, he had to follow through on his plan; to leave, to drive back to their apartment and see Jensen. 

 

He had decided to take a chance, to make the first move, the consequences be damned. He was going to go back to the apartment and lay it all out for Jensen. He was going to admit his feelings and hope for the best; hope that Chad was right, that Jensen felt the same way he did. He grabbed his duffle bag and started shoving his clothes into it. The sound of an approaching car caught his attention, but not enough to stop him from finishing his packing. He surveyed the room, satisfied that he had everything, he carried his bag to the living room. He had to clear out the food before he left, he didn’t want to leave it to rot. He stopped what he was doing, letting the refrigerator door swing close, as he heard a car pull into the driveway. He straightened up and turned to the cabin’s front door when he heard a car door slam closed. “What the . . .” He breathed out as he went to see who it was. He frowned, figuring it was probably someone who was lost and needed directions. He pulled open the door and stood there, staring at the car and the driver standing next to it. It took a moment for his brain to catch up to the fact that a black ‘67 Chevy Impala was parked next to his SUV and that Jensen was standing next to his car. Before he knew it, he was down the few steps that led to the cabin’s porch and standing next to Jensen. “Hi,” he breathed out, not knowing what else to say. 

 

Jensen felt his heart slamming in his chest and was sure that Jared could hear the sound as it beat against his rib cage. He gave Jared a shy smile, not really knowing if Jared had really meant what he said in his text. Maybe what Jared wanted was only a friend to spend Christmas with. Maybe he had read more into the text and . . . He barely got a “Hi” out before he found himself pressed up against the car by Jared’s body and Jared was kissing him. He felt the need to pinch himself to make sure he was really awake and not back in his apartment, asleep and dreaming of his heart’s desire. 

 

Jared and Jensen:

 

Jared pulled back from Jensen’s lips and smiled at him, still not willing to fully move away from Jensen for fear that his mind was playing tricks on him. He placed a hand gently against the back of Jensen’s head and drew him in for another kiss, one that he felt Jensen returning. He felt his heart begin to race and his knees begin to buckle at the kiss, of finally kissing Jensen. He kissed Jensen until his lungs screamed from the lack of oxygen. Only when he felt like he was going to black out, did he pull away again to see Jensen’s full lips were red and kiss swollen. It was a look he liked seeing, knowing he had caused that. 

 

“Jared,” Jensen said, his voice sounding a little uncertain. He bit his lower lip, holding himself back from the need to kiss Jared again. 

 

“You came,” Jared said breathlessly.

 

“I got your Christmas invitation,” Jensen whispered. “Merry Christmas.”

 

“It is now,” Jared said as he grabbed Jensen’s hand and pulled him along and into the cabin. 

 

Whatever else they had to say to each other, they could say later. Jared just knew that things would work themselves out between them; they were meant to be together. It would be a very Merry Christmas for the both of them, Jared was sure of it.

 


End file.
